Every group of lads has that one friend. Ours was Liam — nice bloke, clever as anything, but with the sexual experience of a monk in lockdown. Glasses, plain jumpers, hair like it hadn’t decided what style it wanted to be. Girls barely noticed he existed unless it was to borrow his homework.

So, one Friday after school, we decided to sort him out. A proper makeover mission. New clothes, better haircut, a crash course in confidence… and, of course, the highlight: a pair of Tama Toys Super Real Boobs from Tiddy Shop. Because if he was ever going to be ready for the real thing, he needed to start with practice gear.

When the box arrived, we handed Tama Toys Super Real Boobs over like we were passing him the crown jewels. He held them like they were a bomb he didn’t know how to defuse. “Go on, give ’em a squeeze,” we told him. At first, he touched them like he was petting a scared cat — all awkward and hesitant. 

But soon enough, something clicked. He was gripping them like he’d found the last two bread rolls at Greggs, flicking the nipples with this cheeky confidence that made us all howl. Honestly, the man was in training montage mode — you could almost hear Eye of the Tiger playing in the background.

Once he’d “graduated” from boob school, we hit the shops. Out went the shapeless jumpers, in came a fitted shirt that actually showed he had shoulders. We got him a haircut that didn’t scream “Mum still cuts it,” and suddenly, Liam looked… well, dateable. His smile was bigger than a kid finding a five-rupee note in their old jeans.

Monday morning, the transformation was complete. Liam walked in with the swagger of a bloke who’d just found cheat codes for life. He started chatting to girls like he’d been doing it for years. Watching him was like seeing a baby deer learn to walk — a bit wobbly, but damn, he was moving.

By lunch, he’d only gone and bagged a date with Sophie — the fit one everyone fancied but no one actually tried for. We were half proud, half gobsmacked.

We didn’t see him on Saturday. Or Sunday morning. When he finally turned up at the park, there was this smug, satisfied grin on his face — the kind you only get when you’ve been up to very, very good things. 

From holding silicone Tama Toys Super Real Boobs in our living room to holding Sophie in her bedroom, our boy had gone from practice mode to championship level in one weekend.